Would you believe that Tim Ferriss, a bestselling author, successful entrepreneur and investor, and #1 podcaster once struggled with suicide?
Believe it. Because it’s true. He shared it in his well-followed blog, and the result? This endeared him all the more to his audience.
Such is the case when you share your vulnerability that one can’t help but wonder - why are we not doing more of it?
Why don’t we want to show our brokenness, hurts, and pains? Because we don’t want to be perceived as weak, that’s why. Because we want the approval of other people. We want to feel accepted, respected, and loved. We fear rejection. And so we subscribe to perfectionism.
We are quick to judge which is why we fear being judged so we hide under this shield of perfectionism. But the thing we are missing out is that we are all humans and to be human is to be imperfect.
“The vulnerability paradox: It’s the first thing I look for in you, and the last thing I want you to see in me.”
– Brené Brown
All these walls that we have built around us begs the question – how much of your life is really an illusion?
The reality is that – by projecting that you are perfect, as is wont to happen especially in today’s digital age, you actually isolate yourself. Because people are simply not perfect. And they will find it hard to connect with someone who doesn’t seem relatable – who is not emotionally available. Would you want to be around someone who is emotionally unavailable?
Given this, are you finding it hard to share your vulnerability?
How can you share your vulnerability?
Share things gradually, in order to determine and build trust.
Share, not just your worries and fears, but also your passions and dreams. It doesn’t have to be negative all the time. There’s such a thing as toxicity. Don’t cross that line.
But be selective in sharing too. Vulnerability, after all, is not the same as disclosure. What matters is not how much you’re sharing. It’s the quality of what you’re sharing and why you’re sharing it. Don’t overshare to just anybody.
Ask for what you want. Because you won’t get what you want if you don’t ask for it. Whether it be from your boss, your client, or your life partner. Don’t be afraid to be rejected. Admit that you are helpless and you will get the help and support that you need. Be your authentic self and you will have authentic relationships. That’s just how it goes. We simply have to overcome our fear of rejection.
Showing your vulnerability, a trait that is perceived to be a weakness, is actually the strongest, not to mention wisest, thing that you can do.
Let me ask.
What do you want in your life?
Then share your vulnerability.
Break down those walls. Let down your guards. Stop trying to appear strong all the time. That’s damn tiring!
Benefits of Sharing Your Vulnerability
The most important benefit of sharing your vulnerability is that you are able to form deeper and strong connections which become the foundation of your success in life – in your relationships, career, or business. Just imagine how solid those relationships which are founded on shared experiences. The strongest earthquake might take place but this building will not crumble.
Being vulnerable means being open. And when you share your vulnerability, you open yourself to unprecedented personal development, growth, and progress.
When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you also allow yourself to find the true meaning and purpose of your life. And that’s just a beautiful thing.
With your vulnerability, you can heal other people.
And so we go back to Tim Ferris and other people who shined because of the shame they lived with and eventually overcame – all by sharing their vulnerability.
“Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”
“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.”
– Brené Brown